Old Wounds
by Misha
Summary: Harry asks Snape a question and ends up getting answers he never expected as some old wounds are opened up.


Old Wounds By Misha  
  
Disclaimer- Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling and is not mine, however much I might wish differently. However, I am not making any money off of this, so please do not sue me!  
  
Author's Notes- This is a serious fic involving Severus and Harry. No slash though, far from it. It's set during Harry's seventh year and the two of them have serious talk about things that have been boiling under the surface for seven years. I write this in the style that I do, hoping that I'm remaining true to the characters. Remember that Harry has grown up and matured and Severus, well he's gained a little bit of respect for the Boy Who Lived. That's why they interact the way they do. Well, that's all, enjoy!  
  
Pairing- Minor Snape/Lily.  
  
Summery- Harry asks Snape a question and ends up getting answers he never expected as some old wounds are opened up.  
  
Rating- PG  
  
Spoilers- All four books.  
  
"Do you want something Mr. Potter?" Severus asked, raising an eyebrow at the seventh year student who lingered after Potions class was done for the day.  
  
"It's not fair." Harry said quietly.  
  
Snape looked bemused. "What's not fair. I mean, I can think of many things."  
  
"The fact that you hate me because of things I have no control over." Harry said quietly. "I mean, I had no say in things that happened before I was even born. Nor did I choose my parents or the fact that I look like the father I can't even remember."  
  
Severus took a good look at the boy.  
  
So like James. Yet, not as much as before. As he grew up, Harry grew into his own person, not a replica of his long-dead father.  
  
Severus wondered if they by had a point and it was wrong of him to try the son for the father's crimes.  
  
"As I said before, life isn't fair." Severus said quietly. "Do you think that I find it fair that you look so much like him, but have her eyes? That I have to see those eyes and constantly remember?"  
  
The eyes in question widened.  
  
"What does it matter if I have my Mum's eyes?" Harry questioned softly. "Didn't you hate her too?"  
  
"Never." Severus answered. "Oh, there was a time when I picked on her, but I never hated her the way I did the others. She was special."  
  
Severus didn't understand why he was saying these things. He had kept his feelings for Lily a secret from everyone except her for many years. Why was he letting them now and to Harry Potter of all people?  
  
Severus looked carefully at the boy and then nodded. That was why.  
  
Because he was her son. Because though he looked like the father, he was more like the mother than anyone had ever given him credit for. Because though Severus didn't like the boy and probably never would, he had come to grudgingly respect him (though he would never let it show). Because Severus knew that if anyone had a right to know, it was this boy.  
  
"Were you friends?" Harry asked quietly.  
  
"In a way." Severus said quietly. "Or rather we could have been, if hormones hadn't gotten in the way."  
  
Harry looked shocked. "You and my Mum? Really?"  
  
"Yes." Severus confirmed. "It was wrong and we both knew it, but we were drawn to one another. We needed each other."  
  
"Did you love her?" Harry asked softly.  
  
"I did." Severus confirmed. "I still do. Harry, it would have been impossible not to love your mother. She was the most beautiful and kindest person I ever met. She was Lily."  
  
"What happened?" Harry asked, not seeming as disturbed by the knowledge of his mother and his Potions master, as Severus would have expected.  
  
"Things ended badly." Severus said quietly. "I fell to the dark side and Lily was heartbroken. She tried to save me, but I wouldn't let her. In time, she got over me and in the end she married James and was very happy with him."  
  
"But you turned back before Voldemort's downfall, didn't you?" Harry asked quietly.  
  
Severus nodded. "About six months before. You see, I had heard that Voldemort was after your parents and that was enough for me to go to Albus and confess my sins. Anything to protect Lily. You see, even then, I was still in love with her."  
  
"Did she know?" Harry asked. "That you turned back to save her?"  
  
Severus nodded. "Yes. She was grateful, but that was it. It was too late for anything else. She was in love with James. Besides, we had both grown up and it would have been impossible to reclaim a youthful love."  
  
"But you never let go." Harry said quietly.  
  
"No." Severus admitted. "I kept loving Lily and I still do. My heart broke when she died and I don't think I'm capable of loving anyone else. Nor do I want to."  
  
Harry was quiet, absorbing all that he heard.  
  
"That's why you've been so nasty to me." He stated calmly. "But because when you see me, you think of her and remember that she's gone and it hurts you all over again. I'm a constant reminder of what you lost."  
  
"Yes." Severus admitted. "You are. For seven years, I've seen you and thought of her."  
  
"So you don't hate me because you hated my father." Harry said quietly. "You hate me because you loved my mother."  
  
"No." Severus said quietly. "That was the reason I was never able to hate you. I wanted to, how I wanted to. But I didn't. Because you were her son and she loved you so much and I couldn't hate anything that she had loved."  
  
Harry nodded. "Thank you, Professor Snape, for telling me this."  
  
Severus didn't say anything, just nodded in acknowledgment.  
  
Harry held his gaze for a long moment and then turned and left.  
  
Severus watched him go, knowing that things between them had changed.  
  
He would never be truly fond of Harry Potter, but after this moment, never again would he be openly cruel to him either.  
  
Also his secret pain was no longer just his. He had finally let it out and he was surprised by how good it had felt. Maybe the wounds would be able to heal after all.  
  
The End 


End file.
